Friday, 27 February 2009

From humble beginnings

Hello and welcome to the new ground breaking blog that the world all over will soon be raving about. To begin I feel that we need a truly massive story to capture an idea of what this blog will be covering. We could go for Obama’s plans to pull most US troops out of Afghanistan by august 2010 or the fact that HBOS made a loss of 10.8bn in 2008.

Nope, these don’t carry the right kind of magnitude.

The real story that everyone is talking about is, of course… the problem with my hair.

I’ll give you a quick description of said barnet for those of you who haven’t seen it in all its magnificence. It’s a fairly messy, reasonably long, kind of indie looking style at the moment and I would say that I’m happy with at least 90% with the perfect width, height and circumference.

However the problem comes with the daily, nay, hourly battle I have with my damn fringe to stay where I want it and not part in the middle leaving me looking like I have old school David Beckham curtains that have gone horribly wrong. Ideally it would sit comfortably across the whole forehead with little movement. When in this rare state of perfection I am untouchable. Women swoon, men bow to me like some kind of demi-god, children flock to marvel at its magnificence, tentatively asking if they can touch it which of course is answered by a swift slap and the reply of ‘get away from me you dirty urchin’.

However note the use of the phrase ‘rare state’. It is in fact so rare it has actually never happened. I live in hope but all that happens at the moment is women scream and run, men shoulder charge me with a casual insult thrown in for good measure.
And the children? They throw Smarties at me. (Someone did once throw a Smartie at me. It hurt.)

So you can see dear readers that I am in quite a dilemma. If any one has an answer to my problem let us know.

Now a part of the blog I think I want to get going, a new feature if you will, is track of the blog and album of the blog. Just so you lucky things can see what is influencing my mood at this time. So…

Track of the Blog
Ultraviolence (Spank Rock Mix) – Heartsrevolution

An absolute banger of a tune. When the beat drops in I can’t help but start dancing.

Album of the Blog
Which Bitch? – The View

Maybe not as good as their incredible first; the boys from Dundee have nonetheless pulled quite a remarkable album out of the bag. Stand out tracks would be Glass Smash and Give Back The Sun.


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